Friday, December 11, 2009

Done Listening - Now I'm Speaking

On Kal's Facebook page, I'm done just "listening" -- that's what I call my info gathering phase (sounds sort of YS3-ish, right?).

Now, I'm beginning to post stuff. I just posted a picture of Kal's brother, Kurtis, on Facebook.

Check it out:




What do you think of my comment? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Michael Horn Speaks!

Wow, what a great letter from Michael Horn: click here to go to it.

My favorite part is the link to this info.

You all know Michael Horn as the guy with whom Kal Korff alleges to have partnered with to produce some double-set of DVDs. Michael clearly sets the record straight -- no, no, no.

It's hilarious to read. I only wish I could see Kal's face when he reads it. I'm sure we'll hear plenty of retort from the King of Shite soon enough.

Anyone want to take any bets on how Kal reacts? I predict 3 options:
  1. Kal screams to his public "Michael Horn is a liar!!"
  2. Kal replies with "Production may be delayed, due to some covert operations in Korffistan."
  3. Kal quietly replies to Michael Horn with "You're a LIAR!!"


Enjoy - keep korffing. Kal Korff is an insane lunatic. "...and you can quote me on that."

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Facebook Fun

I told you all that yesterday how I finally accepted all of the Facebook friend requests, right?

Well, it seems all 8 of them believe 100% that I am indeed Kal Korff. That's funny.

But I just revealed myself (kult of kal) to 1 Facebook friend, and the poor slob still believes I'm Kal, even after revealing myself. I guess Facebook can seem trustworthy to some people.

So, I figure if I post our conversation on the blog, he'll get it. Click to expand

Monday, December 7, 2009

Kal Korff - Chubby Li'l Facebook Loser

Taking the hint from FN, I changed the blog's header image.
Priceless. Just fucking priceless.

In other news, you all know I created a Facebook page with this gmail account right?

Well, it seems no less than 8 people have found my Facebook page and wanted to be my "friend." But these people genuinely believe I am Kal Korff. As Kal would say: "Can you believe that, folks?"

Yeah, no less than eight people believe I am actually Kal. One guy sent a friend request, asking if I'd be interested in some work. I would give away more, but just in case Kal monitors this stuff, I won't. I don't want him chasing after his job that's rightfully mine, right? (Or do I have that backwards? Whatever.)

For a long time I only watched as more people sent friend requests. I just accepted all 8 requests this morning. Should be interesting to see where this goes.
I'm posting a screenshot of my Facebook page, but I should edit out who 'befriended' Kal.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Google Wave Invites Released

Last Friday, I offered 8 Google Wave invites to anyone who sent in a picture or video poking some fun at our favorite Kernal Korff. It's Wednesday today, with 2 days left. Results so far: 1 picture.

I hate to sound disillusioned, but it seems our KIAI / KoK community is dead (or extremely sleepy). Or, at least extremely one-sided. What's your take on it?


Not being someone to back away from my word, I went ahead and sent off 5 of my 8 available invites. So, I picked the most active commenters from both blogs.
I did it this way because, with only two days left in this half-assed contest, I've had 1 submission. Yeah, if you ask me, I do think that's sad. (To think I had expected only 4 or 5....damn, even my pessimism wasn't pessimistic enough.)


I sent off invites to the following 5 names (& whose e-mails I have:) Squonkamatic, Jimmy, Brad, Digger and the dude who sent in this Bozo picture:



I would send one to "Anonymous," but I don't have his e-mail....hehe.

Anyway, later, -kult.

p.s. To the dude who sent in the Bozo picture, please know I had to clean coffee off my keyboard.

p.p.s. Anyone who spotted the obscure movie reference in my "dead, or extremely sleepy" quip - a big "AttaBoy" to you! :)

p.p.p.s. Yes, if by Friday I get a 2nd picture or video, of course, I'll be happy to get rid of the remaining 3 invites. And, of course, I highly fucking doubt anyone will send anything, let alone do I believe anyone is actually reading this post. Time to get more coffee.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Google Wave - Making Kal Seasick

Slightly off-topic here...have you ever heard of Google Wave?

If you haven't, I won't scream you must be living under a rock. But, it is a cool innovation by that techno behemoth Google. Imagine a cross between e-mail, instant messaging, and some team collaboration software -- and that's Google Wave. If you're still unsure, well... Google it.

The real meat of the story is, I'm using Google Wave and I was given 8 invitations, or Google Wave invites to pass on to others. Since Kult of Kal is my separate identity from my real life, I won't be spreading these invites to my real life friends (yes, Kal, I have real friends unlike yourself). So, I'm saving all 8 invites to my "Kult of Kal life" friends.

I could say the first 8 requests I get, I'll hand them an invite, but that's no fun.

So, here's the deal:
1. Make a picture or video that's clearly anti-Kal
2. Send your picture or video to me at kultofkal@gmail.com
3. Do this by next Friday, 4 December 2009.
4. I'll post all on the blog (cited anonymously) -- and you all judge the best.


You know what will happen, right? They'll be 4 or 5 people (max) who submit anything ... and that's cool with me. I'm just looking for some input for this blog. ;)

------ Submission updates------
Pictures: 1 Videos: 0

-kult

Monday, November 2, 2009

Flow Chart #3

Kal's brain, we all know, is warped, deluded and malnourished. And above all, it's predictable.

A while ago, I proposed a flowchart of how Kal's brain thinks when he's bored. Seeing how the chubby little loser has no job, no friends and no substantial life to speak of, I'd guess the flowchart represents pretty much all of Kal's time.
Back then, I left out one part, his "blog flowchart".

So, yeah, from the beginning:

And finally, I finally got around to doing his "blog flowchart" this weekend. Here it is:



Saturday, October 17, 2009

WTF Kal? Martina got your tongue?

Just like Judge Smails said in Caddyshack...
"Well, ...we're waiting!"



Take your time, Kal. Meanwhile, we'll just stand around looking pretty.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ain't That the Truth?

No commentary. I'll just post this screen capture:

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Kal Gets Buzzed ...Again?

Kal recently reposted his 2-part video of getting his own hair cut. Well, basically all but shaved off.
It was just last night: "Last Updated on Monday, 05 October 2009 21:18 "

This is pathetically funny for a number of reasons:
  1. Kal saw value in reposting a 2-part video of getting his own hair cut. Come on, Kal.
  2. Kal's buddy & S3 adjunct Avimi (Avim for short) is manning the camera.
  3. After nearly a DECADE in Prague, Kal is unwilling or unable to utter the most basic Czech.
  4. Kal translates 30,000 views of this video as... fame.
  5. Again, Kal saw value in reposting a 2-part video of getting his own hair cut.

You hear a lot of Avimi and see snippets of him in the mirror. Definitely the same guy as in the "cannonball" video (see latter half of Kult video 2)

I'm not sure what else to say about this loser. He's speaking for himself, as in "actions speak louder than words."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to Monitor Kal (And NOT his Website)

Do you use Google Alerts? I do.

I'll try not to sound like a commercial for Google, but if their product is cool, why not share it, right?


Google Alerts watches Kal for me. I don't visit his site when I don't have to. Instead Google Alerts tells me the moron just posted something new.

Example:
  1. Some idiot (Kal, in this case) just posted a new blog entry.
  2. The idiot (Kal) uses keywords that I am interested in, e.g. "Kal Korff".
  3. Google alerts me that the idiot posted a new blog entry.
  4. (Optional) I visit his blog to read more.
So Google Alerts is like having a person watch everything written on the Internet, for whatever you're interested in comes up.


Here's how you can set it up, too.
Visit Google Alerts: http://www.gooogle.com/alerts


Enter in the search terms, i.e. keywords you want Google to monitor for you.
Be mindful you use quotes (easy task for Kal) if you use multiple words. Else, it will ring true even with one word alerted.
Choose "Comprehensive" as the all-of-the-above option.
Select if you want to know immediately or just a daily digest.

And, lastly, - enter your e-mail address where to send alerts.

Now, you'll get an e-mail asking you to verify. Not said, this also protects Google from someone getting pranked by friends, getting unintentional alerts on "the". Once you verify, you'll get alerted with every post. The above example is what I personally have used for a while now.

p. s. Obviously, you can set up many alerts, maybe for your favorite news item, or an author's name, or even your own name. Note: this doesn't tell you when someone is searching for your keywords -- only when someone writes an article/blog/etc with the keywords.

Friday, September 25, 2009

KIAI - We Miss You. I'm Stepping This Up.

To the "Kal Is An Idiot" blog,
We miss you. For over a year, we've had a place to hear you rant and rave about Kal Korff's stupid, banal and facile, ass-clown antics. In return, we fill your comments section, showing support for all you said.
But after several months, you needed a rest. And again, after a year, the ranting got to be too much. Indeed, we realize only Kal himself can spew hate so naturally and persistantly. For Kal alone, it actually gives him energy to hate others, while for us humans it takes our energy away.
(Am I sounding too poetic or too here?)

Kal, you're a fucking moron. A pathetic waste of space, waste of air and a drain on the earth's resources. Your family is far from proud of you and everyone who meets you is repulsed by you.
I personally have met some fine people through KIAI and this effort. But I can't say it's been entirely worthwhile having to become familiar with you to do so. I want to walk away, but I feel some ...duty to stay in.


KIAI, it seems, even after declaring a month's rest, you've decided to rest indefinately. We miss you and we want you back. You've got us getting more and more restless for your work.

KIAI, we're hoping you return any day now. But until you return, I will make a decent effort to close the gap.


Kal, you suck. I'm going to say that often, so you'd better get used to it.

Poll Results (How do you know Kal?)

I had a poll up for about two months; the poll closed a week ago. Got 20 responses.
Granted this isn't a popular site, but I'd bet the distribution is right, even at this micro-scale.

My question was this: Where did you first experience Kal?

And here are the results:
Prague ---------------- 25%
Seattle ---------------- 0%
Oregon ---------------- 5%
Kal's Kalifornia days --- 5%
Kal's UFO efforts ------ 65%
Kal childhood (ick!) ---- 0%

There you have it - with the exception of 2 people, 90% of people heard of Kal from his UFO debunker efforts or his wasted decade in Prague.

Kal...let me spell this out for you. No one paid attention to your LLNL lies. No paid attention to your JFK lies. Some people are still bitter about your bullshit English column in the now defunct "Express" paper. But most people know of you because of your UFO ("it's so great, it's in paperback") book.

You suck. If you want to return to stardom (HAHAHAHAHAHA), then consider returning to Switzerland. Hey, maybe you co-produce a DVD with ...oh, wait, nevermind - Mikey Horn already responded "Ahh, no."

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Making Contact with his Contacts

So, some insight into what I've been up to.
At the beginning of September (after a month of "radio silence" on KIAI), I started contacting people who were subscribed to Kal's youtube channel. (No, I don't mind Kal knowing this fact).

I told them I'm fascinated by people actually interested in Kal.
I ask how and why. I want to know more about his "base."

Surprisingly to me, people responded.
I'm learning, a lot of people are just curious, subscribing haphazardly to something that interests them with little motivation to unsubscribe once they satisfy their curiosity.

Until now.

In general, people wrote back with:"I don't know...he's strange."
Or "he confuses me..."
Or "I subscribed to Kal Korfs channel because I didn´t undestand his videos and I wanted to find out more."

But the best response: people are unsubscribing.
Yeah, his numbers are fewer now. And I figure if I do this again (and if others, too), then more of his friends/subscribers are likely to drop from his channel rather than risk being questionned for it.

I just had to share that. :-)
-- especially with you, Kal.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Spurious World of Korff

We all know about the "famous" court battle: Kurtis Kern Korff v. Rest of the World.
In case not, here it is in a nutshell:

Case Summary

Office: Medford

Filed: 02/25/2008

Jury Demand: Defendant

Demand: $3000000

Nature of Suit: 440

Cause: 42:1983 Civil Rights Act

Jurisdiction: Federal Question

Disposition: Dismissed - Voluntarily

County: Josephine

Terminated: 08/17/2009



Court Documents


A fellow Korffer told how it's possible to sign up online and pay to view the court documents.
So I did. Click HERE to download documents I downloaded.



Here's the full timetable of all documents available. In yellow are the ones I've downloaded to date:

1:08-cv-03018-CL Korff v. Geiger et al
Mark D. Clarke, presiding
Date filed: 02/25/2008
Date terminated: 08/17/2009
Date of last filing: 08/17/2009

Filer Kurtis Kern Korff

Doc.
No.

Event Name

Filed

1

*Complaint

02/25/2008

3

*Motion to Withdraw

05/12/2008

8

*Motion to Appoint Counsel

08/04/2008

10

*Motion for Extension of Time

10/09/2008

12

*Motion for Extension of Time

11/14/2008

15

*Response to Order to Appointing Pro Bono Counsel - Review Complete

01/07/2009

18

*Application for leave to proceed ifp

04/20/2009

19

*Amended Complaint (ZIP file) (added Josephine Co Sheriff Dept)

04/27/2009

21

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

22

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

23

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

24

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

25

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

26

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

27

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

28

*Summons Returned Executed

05/01/2009

41

*Motion for Summary Judgment

06/10/2009

42

*Certificate of Service

06/11/2009

43

*Exhibits (no hyperlink)

06/11/2009

47

*Motion for Extension of Time

06/19/2009

48

*Certificate of Service

06/19/2009

54

*Response to Motion

06/30/2009

56

*Certificate of Service

07/10/2009

60

*Motion to compel

07/14/2009

61

*Response to Motion

07/15/2009

64

*Motion to Dismiss

07/30/2009

65

*Certificate of Service

07/30/2009






Monday, July 27, 2009

Where in the World is Kal an Idiot?

Question: Where is Kal an idiot?
Answer: Everywhere

While sightseeing on vacation last week, I got this idea. I scribbled a quick note, held it up against a famous landmark and snapped a picture. It still cracks me up to look at this picture.



I'm hoping to motivate a bunch of my fellow Korffers to do the same. Though I live in Prague, I'm leaving our beautiful city for someone else to do.


Simple rules:
1. One picture per city or famous location. (or even not famous like Grants Pass, OR)
2. Stay anonymous; no supermodels. (I don't want to help Kal enact revenge)
3. Genuine pictures only; no "photoshopping"


Submit your shot to me at kultofkal@gmail.com and I'll post it here.

Friday, July 17, 2009

New Video for Korffers

Just finished my latest video. As esteemed Korffer "FN" noticed, the video pits Kal's own information against him.





Damn, I really enjoy making this things!
Enjoy.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Kal Korff: a Dangerous Predator

Note: This post uses others' researched and concluded commentary direct from the KIAI blog.

Kal Korff is a dangerous predator, established by his deceitful MySpace profile, past behaviour and profiled as a registered cyberstalker.

Direct from Korff's MySpace profile:

  • Orientation: Straight
  • Income: $250,000 and more...

As Kal K. Korff is using MySpace, they seriously should be made aware that he has been identified and exposed as an online predator with an apparent interest in very young women. This is a guy who is alleged to have carried fake Mossad and Interpol badges as well. The combination of Kalvin Korff's interest in apparently underage women and his habit of impersonating law enforcement and military personnel as well as his documented cyberstalking is very troubling.

Kal's MySpace link: http://www.myspace.com/captainkorff

Add to that this misrepresentation of his annual income as a lure for unsuspecting target/victims and we have a situation rife for abuse. Considering that he also apparently fled the United States for Czech Republic as well they should be very interested to learn more about Kalvin and his probable use of their service to stalk, harass, and abuse. He should NOT be trusted by social networking services.

Kal Korff uses YouTube to bully, harass and intimidate others with little or no justifiable provocation. He is an online predator who uses the internet as a way to attack, abuse, and try to humiliate. It's one thing when he has a fruitcake lesson on UFOs, it's another thing when he names individuals by name, relates their places of employment, and makes baseless personal charges against them that are intended to harass and create an atmosphere of abuse & intimidation.

Kal Korff also uses YouTube as a platform for his pathological lying. His claims of being a colonel, assertions that his brother is innocent of any and all crimes, and his references to make believe people like Martina Tycova are all manipulations and distortions of the truth which are intended to recruit new accomplices.

He is a dangerous online predator and psychopath who should be avoided or at least regarded as a potential threat to the stability of everyone's life who encounters him.


As for being a registered Cyberstalker or "Cyberpath", one need to look no farther than here:

http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/


Kal Korff Steals Valor

Note: This post is a direct copy of researched and concluded comments found on the KIAI blog.

Title 18 (U.S.C.), Chapter 33, §704 titled “Military medals or decorations” states:

  • (a) In General.--Whoever knowingly wears, manufactures, or sells any decoration or medal authorized by Congress for the armed forces of the United States, or any of the service medals or badges awarded to the members of such forces, or the ribbon, button, or rosette of any such badge, decoration or medal, or any colorable imitation thereof, except when authorized under regulations made pursuant to law, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.

Kalvin Korff has definitely stolen valor and misrepresented himself as some sort of military or paramilitary officer, as exemplified by his infamous SAPSTOE uniform portrait where he wears a number of fake, phony and fraudulently obtained badges and insignia. He has openly worn bars of a US Army Captain's rank and used images of himself festooned with these rank insignia to pull a con job on others for his own personal gain. He has never worked in the area of law enforcement, has never been a recruit in any military organization, and has no legitimate need to wear such insignia.

Obviously he is using these rank insignia to deceive consumers into listening to his confidence pitches. And possibly worse: Most predators who have been known to carry false or fraudulent law enforcement & military badges have used them to coerce their victims and create enough confusion for the victim/target to lower their defenses. All Ted Bundy needed was half a second to slap a pair of handcuffs on the young ladies he preyed upon -- once they were in restraints they were powerless.

Come to think of it, isn't "slapping the cuffs on them myself" a phrase that Kalvin K. Korff has used himself in the past? What good is a fake Interpol badge without a pair of handcuffs to go with it? He could then prey upon target/victims throughout Prague and all of Europe for that matter ... Isn't he often bragging about engaging in extended and unexplained journeys throughout the EU? Who knows what he's REALLY doing out there?

And who knows why he really relocated to Prague? Is there something more than just a lawsuit courtesy of Jim Dilettoso awaiting Kalvin K. Korff back in the USA? Maybe something involving impersonation of a police or military officer? He certainly holds the offices of law enforcement and the military in the most dire of contempt. People don't usually carry fake law enforcement badges or wear improperly obtained military insignia to aid them in collecting for the Red Cross. They usually wear or carry them as a way to help them prey upon their victims.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Kal's Flowchart for Making Videos

Continuing from the last post, I think I diagramed how Kal comes to making his videos. Enjoy.

Charting the Unchartered

Like many others, I'm sure, I'm seeing patterns in Kal's thinking.

It occurred to me "Maybe I should draft a diagram of what I believe is Kal's thinking process?"

So, I did. (click on picture to expand)

Oh, and it's only part 1 of ...well, a couple parts (who know how far this could go?

Enjoy.

Friday, July 10, 2009

KoK Site Changes

All,

A few days ago, I realized I'm getting bored with Kal's banal ranting: "Blah, Kimball's little gray men, Don Ecker threatened me, Randle is a real Colonel, Royce has a Hall of Fame, blah-blah-blah."

Well, to re-Kal-cify myself, I gave the website a shot in the arm.

Specifically, I made the following changes:
  • Blog header's byline to honour the David Bowie tribute
  • I added a bit of advertising (no one patroned the Kal store, but I have "make a penny" from this effort as a personal goal)
  • A search function for parsing the blog's posts

I also added a poll - "Where did you first experience Kal?". Please chime in - it's more interesting to learn more about our group.


Naturally, I do this for my fellow Korffers, who I also suspect are growing tired with Kal.

I laugh how I still enjoy decent anonymity. Only Paul Kimball knows my real name and face since his visit to Prague. Luckily, I'm not as famous as Paul, so I have little to lose (except Kal's vengeful childplay).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Anti-Korffers are Loyal and Strong

Got a recent message from a loyal visitor (prior mystery solved, by the way) and long-time "Korffer."

I am surprised once again by how great a crowd we all are. Kudos to Kal for being such a personality that he can unite a crowd and energize them. Unfortunately for Kal, he's only capable at doing that as long as the crowd is against him.

In case anyone calls me on deleting the prior post, it was at the kind request of one of 'us.' My sincere apologies for, essentially turning the tables, causing unrest on the mystery visitor's side.

As I sit here before you, I am humbled by how cool a crowd we are, single-minded and united against a lone dimwit - Kal Korff. Banal and facile, a fat waste of space.

-kult of kal

Friday, June 26, 2009

Developing...

On Kernel Korff's blog, I counted 13 times (yes, that's thirteen) that Kal finalizes his post with the word "Developing..."

And not once, does it finally develop.
See a pattern here?
(click to expand graphic to read dates)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

"Banal and Facile, a Fat Waste of Space"

On the KIAI blog, esteemed Korffer "Brit_in_Prague" posted this video.



What does it have to do with Kal? If you're asking, you haven't watched it yet.
Ricky Gervis' character is Kal (at least for this episode anyway).

The lyrics are priceless. Okay, I'll admit, I looked up the definitions for both "banal" and "facile" in the dictionary. But that only makes me laugh louder now when I watch it.

Just in the remote chance you want to double-check your understanding, here you are:
banal: boringly commonplace and predictable
facile: lacking depth; taking little effort; lazy


I have to seriously wonder if Brit_in_Prague isn't on the production staff of Extras, the song just suits Kal that well. Nice find, Brit -thanks!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kal's Attempts to Smear; Only Smears Self

Usually I write or create things to make fun of Kal. But this time, Kal did my job for me.
It's pretty bad when Kal tries to make someone look like an ass, but only makes himself the ass.

In this case, Kal made a mockumentary video of esteemed korffer Paul Kimball.
And here it is...



Nice work, Kal. Thanks again for being yourself.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Kal's Claims Revisited

Time has come to collect and provide an up-to-date list of Kal's claims.

The majority of these are patently false. Others - greatly exaggerated versions of the truth. Wherever there was a ounce of truth, it has since been made moot by Kal himself.

In red italics, I provide you that truth.

  • Solved John F. Kennedy's assassination (Grossly opininated retelling of others' work)
  • Signed a 500 book deal (Still undisclosed publisher, unknown timeframe -false)
  • Developed A-bomb design at grade school science fair, prompting clandestine govt visit (Grossly exaggerated, no proof of visit)
  • Invented hypertext (a.k.a. clickable Internet links ) while "an engineer at Apple" (No formal schooling in engineering; Kal as temp contractor to Apple was aware of similar project -false)
  • Worked on anti-missile Star Wars project while working for Law. Livermore Nat'l Labs (contractor for LLNL as low-level desktop support - false)
  • Converted to Judiaism (No blood link. By simple declaration. No observation of Torah or principles -false)
  • Recruited to "Special Secret Services," a military like covert organization (self-created 1-man "org")
  • Once a Captain, now promoted to Colonel in above Special Secret Services (It's his imaginative organization, so...)
  • "Official" complaint against Royce Meyers filed (Meyers confirmed no such complaint received -false)
  • $25,000,000 budget ($25 million) funded by Saudi Arabia (other "fund-raising activities" suggests No - false)
  • KPMG audit against Kevin Randle (Randle confirms no audit -false)
  • BBC interview about missile defense (No interview recorded, broadcast or archived -false)
  • Debate on X-Zone against Kevin Randle (called off by KK; still postponed)
  • Numerous lawsuits filed, criminal charges pressed (none with recent exception re: felonious brother)
  • 10,000 English phrases (stopped effort at 15 phrases)
  • TV deal (nope unless you count YouTube -false)
  • Newly syndicated column (a text table column on own website -false)
  • "Body Human Project" (not even started -false)
  • Possesses WMD proof which embarrasses the CIA and inspection chief Scott Ritter (Ask Scott Ritter. Else... - false)
  • OJ Simpson testimony (even Kal has since backpedaled on this one -false)
  • Reality TV show (see above YouTube comment -false)
  • Lectures to Israelis (no - false)
  • Interviews with the media (exaggeration made on countless occasions)
  • Chief Tech Officer position with Agentura Pro Vas (APV confirmed no such position offered -false)
  • Exclusive deal with MacZone (and as a result, Kal wanted for theft)
  • Possesses "nanobots", serially numbered for counter-surveillance use" (come on.... -false)

There you have it - Kal's claims. And a well-established pattern of bullshit tripe.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Google - ranking Kal as an Idiot

When you search Kal Korff on Google, the website of websites "Kal Korff Is An IDIOT" is on page one.
And not just on the 1st page of thousands of hits. But KIAI ranks as hit #2!!

Try It yourself.

Google's exact algorithm for ranking pages is a closely-guarded secret, because there's big money to be made by manipulating it.
Still, a website's popularity is generally understood to be:
  • how many other sites link to it
  • how often the searched words are used in texts and links
  • how true the text is
Okay, I made up the last one, but in this case, I'm given it fair consideration. Kal really is an idiot.

The website "Kal Korff Is An IDIOT," at only 1 year old, has become the definitive source, the go-to place for news and commentary about Kal Korff.

Want to know what Kal's up to (or what he thinks he's up to)? - KIAI is your source.

Want to know what others have dug up about Kal? KIAI is your source.

There are many people in the world lucky enough to not know about Kal already. But if someone becomes curious, they will likely use Google. If they do, here's what they'll get:




Google Tells You Kal Korff is an Idiot
Ever use iGoogle? With iGoogle, when searching, Google will guess (based on popularity of searches) what you might be searching for. In Kal's case, Google will tell you Kal's an idiot just when you type in his name (in iGoogle).

See, when you search, words are automatically filled in for you:

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Soon-To-Be Hero: Paul Kimball

We are now only days (dare I say, hours?) away from Paul Kimball's film "Worlds Away" to be released to the public.

"Worlds Away" is a documentary about our loner hero Kal Korff. A colleague of Paul's, John Ritchie had the honour to preview it at an advance screening. John has these words to say about it: "It's quite similar to Errol Morris' classic documentary Mr. Death, in that in paints a portrait of a man - Kal Korff - who was once a 'someone' but who got lost in his own madness along the way, and now exists in a sad world of lies and delusions, a world mostly of his own making. "

What really piques my interest about the film is that Paul managed to film Kal here in Prague, without our own special secret services agent knowing about it.

Paul went so far as to win over one of Kal's own "insiders", getting first hand accounts and footage of Kal.

Hours.....I am besides myself with anticipation ("I f*cking can't wait!")

Thursday, April 2, 2009

"Videos need cleaning" - Google

If anyone happened to notice, the "Kult of Kal" video is no longer available, as of earlier today.

Google is disabling videos which use copyrighted music or images. And I just got an e-mail warning me that the "Kult of Kal" video is now blocked since it is "lacking the necessary copyright authorization."

Fair enough. If I remember right, the video plays a bit of the Superman theme (when Kal stands up to proudly show off his new t-shirt, depicting how his brother was really shot).

No worries. At some point, hopefully soon, I will remaster the video (minus the Superman tune) and repost it. And now that I'm thinking of it, I had better do the same cleaning up of the 2nd video which plays some of Jethro Tull's Aqualung.

Kal - you've got a reprieve for a few days. Enjoy.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Kal Did Work At LLNL

All,

I believe Kal now. I've heard from one of Kal's former colleagues at LLNL.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, this person worked with or above Kal at LLNL (Lawrence Livermore Natl Laboratory) and verified Kal's employment, including some decent details.

My source verified about 2 facts:
  1. Kal did indeed work at LLNL, for a period between 2-4 years.
  2. Kal's work was not related to the Star Wars program, not even remotely. Instead, Kal's work was remedial system support, namely on a subset of LLNL's Macintosh computers.

Even more detailed, Kal was not a full-time LLNL employee, but rather via a contractor, through Kirk Mayer Inc (KMI). The rent-a-tech department he worked in was called Small Systems Support (SSS), later called the Distributed Computer Support Program (DCSP).

Also, I understand from this source (sounds like someone who was in a superior position to Kal) that Kal's performance was subpar, all the while he was a boastful (direct quote: "he did not contribute to anything but his ego")

Another quote from the source: "He certainly did not support anything related to the science that goes on there." So, for Kal to say he was involved with Star Wars is the same as any person crossing the street was involved with a car accident a mile away. Kal was in the same city, but not the same team.

Again, although he was bad at it, here's one more source saying Kal did legitimately work at LLNL. More importantly in the quest of truth, all of Kal's innuendos that he had any contribution to the Star Wars program are completely empty. Kal's work at LLNL was simply Macintosh computer support.

Personal Thank You to Kal
I have a personal "Thank You" for you, Kal. When I first read about you and your "involvement" with Hypercard, I got interested in learning about Hypercard myself.
I couldn't believe how easy Hypercard is! I made a couple programs myself after only a few minutes. And then I got a good idea ...since I'm kind of a Star Trek fan, I made one program to catalog a bunch of Star Trek TNG related data. I named it "Commander Data" and I ended up selling it online for ..., well, let's say more money than you'll ever see. Even Milos Bartu appreciates it (I gave it to him for free).

Yeah, so thanks Kal!




Friday, March 20, 2009

Kult of Kal 3 video

The 3rd Kult of Kal video is finished, uploaded and ready to smile at.

The main message is clear: there are two sides to Kal. First, how Kal sees himself in the world and second, ...reality. This video takes 6 minutes to briefly illustrate both sides.





There are 3 "Kult of Kal" videos now. Here are the first two:

Kult of Kal 1 & Kult of Kal 2

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Anonymous Letter to Kal -From All of Us

From the Kal Is An Idiot blog, a recent entry reports how Kal supposedly appeals for sympathy for a terminally ill cancer patient, -but in the end he uses her only to appeal his cause against his foes. Very low indeed.

I found this one comment particularly cutting, but honest:

Kal, you should be utterly ashamed of yourself for this latest example of how low you'll stoop.

The underbelly isn't low enough for you, as you sink so low as to take out your personal anger and rage against Paul Kimball, Kevin Randle and Royce Meyers at the expense of a poor girl who has cancer. Shame on you. Shame.

Your obsession with some UFO personalities is frightening and you have clearly lost touch with the real world.

It is abundantly clear Kal that your vendetta, your petty and pathetic need to get even with and attempt to marginalize a particular group bleeds through in everything you do. It is, in my opinion, obvious this is a sickness you have.

And as usual Kal, your gross ignorance and knee jerk assumptions make you look all the more foolish regarding how the medical system in the UK actually works. I thought you were a "global citizen" Kal, a man of the world who was well traveled and educated about the various societies on this planet. Clearly you are anything but.

Kal writes, "While it is always WRONG to "judge" people (unless you ARE "God"), once people lower themselves to this uncivilized standard, of course they typically have nothing to say, often invent things or outright LIE about that person, and this is when they are not busy making a point to tell everyone they know or all their friends, not only made up stuff, but report only the worst of news."

No shit, Kal. This must be an excerpt straight out of your own book of standard conduct. You do the exact same thing, Kal. By Kal's own words he must think he is God. Kal doesn't have anything to say because for years now he has been repeating the same material over and over again.

Kal, if you're so intelligent, then you should try taking an objective inventory of the things you said and compare them to the way you operate.

You pass judgment on people, produce false claims about them and then twist around any little bit tabloid style to make the person look bad and then you "report" it to the world. Well, you report it to the handful of people who laugh at you and your website.

As far as this woman Jade goes, Kal, people identify with her plight and while you might not know this, supporting a person who might be dying is a human trait called mercy, forgiveness, understanding, sympathy, compassion or how ever else you want to describe it. These are things you clearly have very little understanding of and things you do not apply to your own hate filled life.

It takes a truly twisted sort of person to take every opportunity possible to try to make someone look bad. It takes a tasteless asshole who has no boundaries to insert his hate and jealous fueled dispute to insert that very hatred and try to somehow connect a few people you rant on about into a story about a woman dying. This would be you I'm referring to, Kal.

From the big mouth of Kal, "FOR IT TAKES HATE and the feeling of HATRED TO ACCUSE SOMEONE OF THINGS WHICH ARE NOT TRUE!"

Again, a page out of your own book of standards you use against others on a regular basis at every opportunity you see. You prove you do this very same thing just by your words in this latest hate fueled rant on your website. You do the very same thing, you pathological hypocrite.

What sort of person ties in his personal vendetta to try and marginalize a few people into a story about a woman who likely will die from cancer? What sort of twisted, sick, delusional fuckhead does such a thing? It takes a real piece of shit to do something so low, doesn't it Kal?

Kal, you often talk about hate and finding the source of the problem and how things will never change until we address root causes.

News flash for Kal! Kal, you are part of the problem here. Duh! You are the root cause of some of this hate because of your inability to deal with certain truths and your overblown sense of how things ought to be.

You allow your hate filled need to dispense "justice" on those who have told many truths about you, truths that you know are truths but you can't stand to have been exposed after having supposedly "exposed" so many others. Kal is ok with everyone else facing the music, but when it comes his turn he always has an excuse or blames someone else.

Just look at some of the ridiculous bullshit you've done to people. You tried to accuse people of having ties to terrorism who clearly do not. You allege to have filed complaints against people at their place of work when their employment clearly has nothing to do with anything. You threaten to sue and have people arrested. You threated to expose people before the "worldwide media." You threat people with nonexistent audits. you question people's patriotism to a country you frequently bash. You falsely accuse people of hate crimes and being racist.

More words of wisdom from Kal, "It is NEVER RIGHT to "judge" and condemn people just because you disagree with them."

Kal, you've already passed judgment on so many by calling them frauds and liars.

And Kal rails on, "HATRED AND INTOLERANCE ARE A CHOICE, THEY ARE NEVER AN OPTION."

Kal, you need to look into that proverbial mirror you write about and take a good, long, hard look at yourself. The words utter and hypocrite come to mind.

Let's face it, Kal, you are a large part of the problem. Kal, you're a spite filled little man taking his own anger and frustrations out on people and things you perceive have somehow done you some wrong.

Time to face reality, Kal. No one created these problems for you, you created them all on your own by not addressing your own root causes. You've turned out to be a colossal failure in life because you want to blame everyone and everything else for your problems and how the world is.

Do I say this out of spite? No, I do not. I say it out of compassion for you, Kal. I truly do. You need some serious help and I hope that you get it and are able to become a functioning part of normal society again instead of this rambling, hate filled alter ego you have created out of your own desperate need to have something, to have anything to shield you from the ugliness of your self loathing hatred that you wrongly foist upon those who you believe are the cause of your problems.

Kal, you don't just hate, you are hate.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Kal Cannot Pay Attention to Detail


There is a spectrum of dimwittedness. Perhaps the spectrum would go something like this:

Completely oblivious
------ Disregard the obvious
------------ Poor attention to detail
------------------ Sharp as a tack

Where do you think lies on this spectrum? Let's discuss that...


Kal has (attempted) to post YouTube videos of US Pres Obama's speech on his train-wreck of a website. The videos are obviously someone else's effort, and that someone titled the speech segments very clearly, i.e. "Obama Speech to Congress Part 2/6"

How well do you think Kal these titles to organize and post them on his website? Yeah, not at all.
On the spectrum, Kal yet again, ranks [Completely Oblivious].

Here is what Kal did. Below, I list what Kal writes: [embedded video segment]
Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 4: [Speech to Congress Part 3/6]
Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 3: [Speech to Congress Part 2/6]
Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 2: [Speech to Congress Part 2/6]
Barack Obama's Speech to Congress Part 1: [Speech to Congress Part 1/6]

Errors which should be more than obvious:





  1. Video part 2 (self-labeled as such) is posted twice as Parts 2 & 3.


  2. Video part 3 is posted as Part 4.


  3. There are no video parts 4, 5, or 6, which any a reasonable person would deduce as missing from the other labeled videos (and the abrupt cut-off to the speech).



He really is an oblivious dumbass.



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