Monday, November 2, 2009

Flow Chart #3

Kal's brain, we all know, is warped, deluded and malnourished. And above all, it's predictable.

A while ago, I proposed a flowchart of how Kal's brain thinks when he's bored. Seeing how the chubby little loser has no job, no friends and no substantial life to speak of, I'd guess the flowchart represents pretty much all of Kal's time.
Back then, I left out one part, his "blog flowchart".

So, yeah, from the beginning:

And finally, I finally got around to doing his "blog flowchart" this weekend. Here it is:


Anonymous said...

Classic. Right on the mark.


Anonymous said...

You are utter scum, Korff.

Anonymous said...

Another "article" penned by Kalvin here, which is absolutely disgraceful - on a number of levels:

Allan Hendry said...

"is absolutely disgraceful - on a number of levels"......

....I don't understand... how is murder a good thing??? Please enlighten us, Jimmy D...

Squonk0matic said...

One can write a disgraceful article on a meaningful topic. I am not interested in seeing what Kalvin Korff felt he could get out of discussing this tragedy, since the only reason for him to "write" about it is if there's something in doing so if he can get something out of it -- esteem, praise, self-affirmation.

Likely what Jimmy meant is that the article is written poorly, linguistically inept, used as an opportunity to aggrandize himself, attack his usual abuse/stalking targets, and equate it to global terrorism/UFO frauds or whatever topic is on his mind, and in doing so trivialize the issue by placing it in context to himself, since to a narcissist the world always revolves around them. We call it the Kalvin K. Korff effect, and reducing the piece to its root components is what we call Korffing. Don't blame Jimmy for bringing yet another inevitable example of it to everyone's attention.

Anonymous said...

>>> Likely what Jimmy meant is <<<

Best thing I've read in a long time. I like where this is going.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Oh, I dunno - let's see:

claiming a mythical acquaintance with the unfortunate Anne Pressly in order somehow to add credibility to his opinion and in the next breath claiming that "[a]lthough Anne Pressly was a friend of ours, our opinion about this case is NOT influenced one way or another"; calling for the accused to receive the death penalty before the case has even gone to trial; claiming that "[w]e believe in the death penalty as carried out under law after a properly conducted trial" while doing his level best to skew the fairness of the trial by pontificating in advance on the accused's guilt; plus the usual assault on commonly-accepted rules of punctuation and syntax.

Anonymous said...

Here is the "article" in full, for the benefit of those who don't fancy risking their hard drives by visiting the retard's website:

Curtis Lavelle Vance Finally Goes on Trial for Raping and Murdering Anne Pressly

Written by Kal Korff - Op ed. on the road

Monday, 02 November 2009 12:21

Anne Pressly was raped and brutally beaten into a coma, and then murdered by Curtis Vance, according to police experts and DNA evidence. Hopefully Vance will get the death penalty for his inhumane act.

Anne Pressly, (left) was raped and murdered by this man, Curtis Lavelle, according to police and DNA evidence.
Lavelle is also likely to be charged with another rape of a second woman, committed months before he killed Pressly.
We hope he gets the death penalty.

Dear World,

Curtis Lavelle Vance is finally going to be tried after a delay of several months. Vance is accused, based on forensic and DNA evidence, of beating, raping and then murdering TV news anchorwoman Anne Pressly. Pressly was found in a coma in her home by her horrified mother, who will finally get to face her daughter's killer in court and help insure that justice is done.

The Death Penalty for Vance?
If Curtis Vance is found guilty, he could and should (in our opinion) receive the death penalty. We think that life in prison is "too good" for this sicko, if he is guilty.

Did Vance Rape Someone Else?
America is known as a country which has a very high number of rapes and violent attacks. This is due in PART to how the issue of "sex" and female nudity is mistreated and over-engineered in American society, often labeled as something which is "evil" or "vile" or "sinful" — in some parts of America, the Puritans never left!

This is nothing to be "proud" of.

According to DNA evidence from another crime scene where yet another woman was raped, Vance is also guilty of committing this crime. A DNA match was found at both scenes, with the earlier rape committed just months ago, not long Pressly was attacked and killed.

Although Anne Pressly was a friend of ours, our opinion about this case is NOT influenced one way or another.

We believe in the death penalty as carried out under law after a properly conducted trial, and we always have.
Last Updated on Monday, 02 November 2009 12:46

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting KKK's article, Jimmy D. Anymore, I'm spooked to visit his site.

Anonymous said...

I hit up his site about once a week now. Have not ever gotten any spyware that I know of.....

Just takes FOREVER to load up, even after KKK told us he'd fix that...


Squonk-O-matic said...

All's I know is, at current count:

Kal Korff "Gets Buzzed" - Part 1
1,316 views - Posted 1 month ago.

Kal Korff Gets Buzzed - Part 2
301 views - Posted 1 month ago.

That's more than a four to one ratio in dropoffs of part 1 viewers who have not gone on to view part 2. They are there to see the haircut, not Kalvin K. Korff, and he's losing hits on his original post by having cross-listed it. Can't do anything right.

Brad Hudson said...

Hmm, I find it odd that the prosecution's forensic evidence in this case is not being questioned by dear ol' Kal, yet the forensics guy for the prosecution of one Kurtis K. Korff was labeled as so incompetent that it was criminal.

What do you want to bet we could get good old Jim Pex (Kal's forensics messiah in the aforementioned Kurtis Korff case) would probably be able to produce a report for Lavelle's defense team that showed Lavelle was incapable of beating anyone to death as he was bent down futzing with the gas pedal at the time of the murder, while he also could not have raped this woman as the newspaper showed a photo of Lavelle's penis wearing glasses, and Lavelle's penis has never worn glasses in it's whole life.

Seriously, I hate to make light of a despicable crime, but my weak attempt at humor is no more distasteful than Kal inserting himself into the story as a "friend" of the deceased who is, quite conveniently, incapable of confirming or denying any relationship with Kal (of course sometimes I believe Kal thinks he is "friends" with people because he has seen them on TV before, sort of how toddlers feel "Steve" from "Blue's Clues" is their friend). Kal's "friendship" with this woman is strikingly similar to Sean David Morton's claims of a working relationship with Gene Roddenberry (a relationship that NO ONE at Roddenberry's production company nor any of Roddenberry's family members has any knowledge of, and you'd think someone at the production company would remember the kid that got Roddenberry to bring in Patric Stewart for TNG). As Squonk so eloquently put it before me this is nothing more than Kal writing himself into the story in order to tilt at some of his personal windmills yet again.

My next guess is that Kal will claim he was secretly chummy with Michael Jackson (and encouraged him to use Eddie Van Halen on "Beat It", to boot) whenever Jackson's personal physician comes up for trial, and somehow tie that in with David Biedny threatening to kick his ass (Hell, who hasn't threatened to kick Kal's ass at this point? I would like to kick his ass for making a video about someone threatening to kick his ass, and I'm sure someone else would like to kick his ass for making me want to kick his ass for making a video about someone who wanted to kick his ass. It's like some kind of bizarre MC Escher-esque series of people wanting to kick his ass)

OK, in summation, I don't mean to make light of a rape/murder, but Kal opened that door himself.

Keep on Korffin'!

Brad Hudson
Dallas, TX

Anonymous said...


What's the latest on the movie?



Anonymous said...

Just noticed this entry on the KKIAI blog and thought I'd share it here.
Anonymous said...

Can somebody read Czech and tell what that site is about and such?

Anonymous said...

While we're on the subject of Kal's haircut, here's his explanation, posted on his website at the time, for his visit to the barber's:

"After finishing a counter-terrorism raid in Germany which netted some al-Qaeda connected suspects, Colonel Korff just recently returned from Oregon where he went undercover, first by shaving his head completely bald, and then meeting with various lawyers, Federal officials, and key members of the media".

Or at least, that's one of his explanations. The other - completely different - story he had posted a few days earlier, as a caption to a photo (taken by his lapdog, Avimi) of our hero talking to some bemused-looking Prague police officers:

“Colonel Kal Korff helps Prague police in their attempts to stop Neo-Nazis from marching through the Jewish Quarter of town on the anniversary of Hitler's KristallNacht. Korff shaved his head to "blend in" with Nazis, skinheads and anarchists to "misdirect" them through town and steer them to police, who arrested dozens of people.”

I'll say it again - you are lying scum, "Colonel".

Anonymous said...

re: 'Kal Korff is thief and cheater' -

I like this guy's opinion of Kal:

- He is living in constant lie and lying is inseparable part of his personality!
- He does not pay his bills and cheating many people around!
- He is totally irresponsible for the thigs he rent or borrow. He totally devastated rented flat, where he was living.
- He is totally gutless to face to his problems. He will rather hide, cheat, lie and in the end of the day will escape instead to tell and face to the problem.
- He is a great actor or very paranoic person (sick), because he constantly thinks he is stalked or ill-used.

That pretty well nails it!


Anonymous said...

Where is that a quote from, Digger?

Anonymous said...

Quoted from a link posted above by 'Anonymous'

Or see it here:

Hit 'Kal Korff' on the list in the center.

Sounds like it could be something that Mr. Sedlacek or Milos Bartu would write!


Stop_LYING_Korff!!! said...


What's the latest on the movie?"

---ha! I wouldn't want to be Paul Kimball right now. Things just continue to get really bad for him...

Squonk-O-matic said...

I want to know more about this allegation of Kalvin having trashed an apartment. It brings to mind the fiasco last September (right around the first of the month, if I recall correctly!) with Kalvin K. Korff welching out on the arranged X-Zone Radio debate with Kevin Randle, which Kalvin himself had set the terms for and then backed out of at the last moment.

Then we got that deranged video of him in front of the Czech memorial statues followed by another one where he was supposedly right up the block from the US Embassy where he was supposedly meeting with persons never named in regards to the threat. Following that Kalvin went through a period where he apparently had no fixed abode, wandered around in Switzerland for a spell (the "Mobile English Test" videos) wearing his Frito Bandito costume with the hat + vest.

I also recall how the final few videos from Kalvin in front of his famous wall with that little makeshift bookshelf featured a rapidly diminishing number of books on the shelf, which when viewed in retrospect always suggested to me at any rate that Kalvin was packing up for a move all along. All of his locations for videos ever since have been deliberately anonymous in their staging with that black curtain he seems to take everywhere with him, including Geneva & Tel Aviv if the introductory animations on his videos are meant to suggest that he's in those particular locations.

The meat of this anonymous post with link to the Czech blog is that it serves as proof that Kalvin is leading at least two lives. A public one as a globe-trotting SAPSTOE arranging prisoner swaps in exchange for dropping lawsuits via federal (US) intervention, and then a private life that seems to be punctuated by daily chaos including charges of fraud/abuse by former business associates.

Anonymous said...

I think you're getting the picture.
Kal is nothing more than a small time crook, thief, liar and pretender, and as phony as a lead balloon. That's why he is where he is today. At the bottom of the trash bin. Not too much different than his kid brother Kurtis.


Anonymous said...


For those of you who don't like to visit Kalvin's website, here is the madman's latest farrago of bullshit:

Col. Kal Korff Shares Memories of East Germany, the Fall of the Berlin Wall

I will never forget the "East German" sector of Berlin, a side I had unexpectedly crossed over into, not realizing it until the next morning. It was a real surprise, but most memorable.
Before sneaking into Germany to do some undercover work, such as reporting on the movements of Soviet troops, passing messages and meeting with Germans in the West who wanted to topple Communism, I was told to "pay attention" to the Brandenburg Gate, and to especially watch the statues of the horses which adorn the top of it.
"Remember, always keep the front side of the horses and the chariot facing you," I was told in my briefing papers and in a final meeting before leaving for Europe. "If you see the BACK side of the horses, you are on the East side, the wrong side," Stan (a Swiss-German man) had told me; it was Stan who helped prepare me for this trip to Europe, providing some of the most accurate maps of the area that I could obtain, and detailed information which was nearly impossible to obtain anywhere else, and would prove to be priceless.
I understood this advice, as an American whose heritage on my father's side is German, the word "Korff" is only a German last name; I had worked in secret with resistance groups in the former West Germany to help push Communism into oblivion, to help bring it down so that people could be free.
I have always hated Communism, and became very active in trying to fight against it ever since late 1979, when the Russians invaded the poor country of Afghanistan and then murdered over 1 MILLION innocent people during their time there. My feelings were NOT directed "against the Russians" — they were directed against Communism.

Anonymous said...


Arriving in West Berlin, er.... East Berln
When I arrived in what I THOUGHT was West Berlin, I came in via an elaborate route under the cover of darkness and fog. The original plan was to do this via Czechoslovakia, but I could not get through. The borders were closed.
Being forced to drive hundreds of kilometers out of the original route to try to compensate for this, I arrived in what I thought was West Germany at about two in the morning.
After parking my car in a secure garage where it would not be noticed, since it had been leased from Switzerland, I arrived in what I thought was "West Berlin" and immediately went into a hotel/restaurant which was still open.
Now it was time to practice my German, I had taken four years of it in high school and while I was not fluent, (German grammar — which is complicated — has always posed problems for me), at least I could read it largely fluently, and certainly understand it.
Settling into the restaurant, I ordered typical German sausages and some beer and potatoes, but noticed that the waiter seemed to be especially rude.
Not only was he rude, but everyone in the place that night seemed on edge or certainly not relaxed nor happy.
I thought to myself, "What is WRONG with these people, they seem so cold, these are the strangest Germans I have ever seen."
I had met many people from Germany over the years, had even collaborated with German author and researcher Ernst Meckelburg and contributed material to his book (where I have an official credit and acknowledgement in his work, Besucher aus der Zukunft,) yet these people I interacted with on my first night were NOT anything like the "Germans" I had ever seen before.
I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone, only this was real. The next morning, the "obvious" answer became obvious, even to me.
As I walked around the next morning, I quickly learned the hard way that I had accidentally "landed" ALREADY inside what used to be East Germany, NOT West Germany.
This was a shock to me, since this was not planned, but here I was: stuck, and now it was time to make the most of it.
I later learned the next day, as I was pretending to be a "tourist," that the East Germans, TURNED THE HORSE STATUES AROUND on the Brandenburg Gate, so that the Americans would "have to look at their asses."
This act was one of those all-too-human developments, the kind of unpredictable stunt that ruins any well-planned "undercover" mission, since human beings are unpredictable to a large degree.

Anonymous said...


This absurd fantasy is prefaced with a couple of photos of a younger Kalvin clutching one of those Russian fur hats in front of a grey wall that he claims is the Berlin Wall (trust me - it isn't). The caption to these photos reads: "Colonel Kal Korff, then a Lieutenant, is shown here disguised undercover in the former Communist sector of East Germany, at the Brandenburg Gate. Korff was given this Russian cap by a Russian officer who wanted to "disappear" because of very real fears that the Germans would engage in reprisals against the Russian military after the Berlin Wall fell. Korff worked with underground dissident groups to help topple Communism in Europe."

Kult of Kal said...

My God, the guy is so out there. John le Carré would be proud of such spy prose.

Damn, Korff, you are so deluded, it's not funny.

Reminds of a line in the movie Seven, when Brad Pitt says to lunatic Kevin Spacey..."Do you just stop and go: Wow, it is amazing how fucking crazy I really am."

Squonk0matic said...

Yeah, that's just insane, the guy has lost it. Still reliving those glory years like a shut-in 48 year old virgin living off handouts from mom like a parasite. Ouch.

What I don't get -- probably because I am not a narcissist with a personality disorder let alone a pathological liar -- is how he fails to see how bullshit like this makes him look even WORSE. I give this web posting three weeks, then predict it gets deleted by Kalvin once he goes back on his medication again.

Anonymous said...

From: Michael Hesemann, 100660,
To: "UFO UpDates - Toronto"
Subject: Kal Korffs attacks
Date: Thursday, 1 May 1997, 16.49 CET

I was just informed that Meier Debunker Kal K. Korff used
my absence from the net during my recent visit to the US
and Canada for another dirty attack.

I once mentioned that Korff obviously was lying about
his alleged ability to "speak German fluently" which, as he
claims, enabled him to do his highly dubious "research" in

When I met him on a conference in L.A., I addressed him in
proper German and he obviously didn't understand anything,
although I used a simple language and simple vocabulary,
what made me doubting his language skills.

Now, among other naughty things, Korff admitted that he
didn't understand me but blamed me for "not being able
to pronounce German properly" for whatever reason.
This is just as ridiculous as any other of KKK's numerous
lies. I was born and educated in Germany.

Just a little info from Kal's history


Anonymous said...

What the President of the Czech Republic Dislikes About Kal Korff -

Jimmy D said...

The liar is lying again:

"BREAKING NEWS UPDATE! - White House Communications Director Anita Dunn is Quitting by End of November PDF Print E-mail
News - Latest
Written by Kal Korff - Op ed. on the road
Tuesday, 10 November 2009 16:42

Dear World,

White House Communications Director, Anita Dunn, is quitting her job by the end of this month, November.

CriticalThinkers was one of several entities which Xposed Dunn as a left-leaning radical, who openly admits, (see the video of her speech in her own words Xposing her on this Web site), that she looks to "Chairman Mao" as one of her "Top two sources of inspiration," — the other "inspiring" character Dunn likes to cite is Mother Teresa.

CriticalThinkers has been part of the chorus of people who have urged President Obama to remove this Communist quoting, Maoist "inspired" person from her very important job...."

And on and on it goes...

Anonymous said...

Kal's not very good at critical thinking -- he's just parroting right wing news sources, once again.

My god, Kal is such an idiot.

Anonymous said...

ROFL at that Kal expose.

I always pictured him as trashing any flat he lived in

F1 Racer
still waitin for the cops

Anonymous said...

Kal thinks he being stalked? LOL.

Anonymous said...

Korff's Father?

Read list of lies at bottom of page...


Anonymous said...

FN here,

Shit Face's site either got hacked or he's tried to "modify" his template site and he fucked it up. It wouldn't load up in Exploder....

No great lose, just thought I bring it to my fellow Korffers attention.

Didn't get a virus or anything... yet.

Anonymous said...

Dick Wads template site is still crashing. I did take note that he changed things a round a bit...

I'm not using Exploder 8.0. Maybe that's the issue. Can somebody surf over to that crap site for me and see if it works with Exploder 8.0?


Brad Hudson said...

Kal seems to have reinvented himself as a conservative pundit.

This may be the blow from which the Party of Lincoln will never recover....

It also means I need to check out some Libertarian websites..


Squonk-O-matic said...

Kalvin K. Korff falls a little short in the conservative department because apparently HE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING JOB and appears to sponge off people like a parasite for a living. But he does have plenty of time sitting around stalking people using the internet and trolling around on YouTube for bullshit to waste his time watching & getting riled up over.

Last Sign In: 38 minutes ago

Busy day, ehh Kolon?

Anonymous said...

Where, oh where, is "World's Away", Mr Kimball? I can't wait...

Anonymous said...

Colonel Kal Korff has CONFIRMED that he will be filing a series of legal ethics violations and criminal complaints against specific U.S. Senators with the Justice Department and ethics committees if they vote to PASS the pending universal health care bill scheduled for vote this coming Saturday.

Later today, the relevant U.S. Senators will be formally notified by email of their being reported for corruption and undeniable violations of the laws.

"There are at least two U.S. Senators who are guilty of using BRIBES to pass the upcoming healthcare legislation proposed by President Barack Obama," said Korff.

"After we officially inform the Senators of what they already know and secretly agreed to, we will send the material to the media, including The Washington Post, Drudge Report, Huffington Post, CNN and many others.

"As an accredited, card carrying member of the media myself, I can do this.

"This is very serious and we are not joking. If investigators later determine that no laws were broken, fine. But until such a determination is made, we will proceed with the evidence as it now exists, which warrants a series of ethical, legal and criminal complaints.

"We are NOT confident that these two Senators will avoid breaking the laws, but in order to file complaints, laws must first be broken. We will therefore put the relevant parties on official notice this Friday, and try to make them face the rightful, legal consequences based on their actions, and let exisitng due process procedures determine the truth."


Last Updated on Friday, 20 November 2009 07:48

The sideways 'Colonel' strikes again!
Hahaha and a Hohoho!


Anonymous said...

Kult, what software did you use to draw your flowchart? I'm using powerpoint for a project at work and it's slow going. The software you used looks like it might be a lot easier to work with.

I visited Kal's website yesterday. So retarded.

"We will therefore put the relevant parties on official notice this Friday, and try to make them face the rightful, legal consequences based on their actions, and let exisitng due process procedures determine the truth."

Paul Kimball said...

Kal should look up the definition of "blackmail" in a legal dictionary. What a maroon, as Bugs Bunny would say.

Of course, if he really had information like he says he does, doesn't he have an obligation to justice to send it to the proper authorities, regardless of what the Senators do?

Squonk-O-Matic said...

"This is very serious and we are not joking."

LOL that's why its so funny, Kalvin. We know you are serious, and that you actually will send these ludicrous packages of information to these senators, using the post office or Fed Ex as proxy recruits to carry out your harassment. The best part is that you're upping your ante to elected US officials now. If you thought nobody gave a flying shit about your insane dispatches and "official/formal" declarations you haven't seen nothing yet! I am sure that the Prague IP info in your messages will make them even more important -- YOU AREN'T EVEN A TAXPAYING AMERICAN CITIZEN, you're some douchebag maniac living in obscurity in a foreign city while hiding from your past. Get a life already!

Go ahead and throw away your mom's money if you like -- weren't you supposed to be working for some sort of Israeli counter-terrorism group? What's the matter, no more terrorism left now that the nanobot fleet has been deployed? Or does the Super Duper Services also pay its officers to waste company time farting around at the post office? What an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Msg. to Kal Korff:

The HealthCare bill was passed. Sen. Landrieu, D-LA, received $100,000,000 for her State to get her to vote 'Yes' Nothing illegal about that at all. The media already knows all about it.
Your knowledge of politics is about as sharp as your knowledge of women, or the law, or anything else for that matter!
But go ahead, make an ass of yourself again.

Anonymous said...

Squonk +1

could not have said better

Anonymous said...

Mr Kimball - again I ask: when is the movie coming out? I'd like to ask my wife for a copy for Christmas.

B.Hudson said...

Jimmy -

Don't know if you were aware but one of Paul's good friends (and one of the "good guys" of UFOlogy) Mac Tonnies passed away at the end of October at the age of 34. Now I don't claim to speak for Paul at all on this matter, but I'm sure that real life is a bit more important to Paul than some two-bit nutjob from the Czech Republic right now.

Mac was one of the most original thinkers in this field, and his ideas challenged people to think in a new way. His light being extinguished was a big blow to many, many people, so questions about the Kal movie are likely to be ignored for the time being.

I strongly urge anyone remotely interested in UFO's to check out Mac's blog (as long as it stays up) at and see why Mac was such an interesting and original thinker.

Brad Hudson
Dallas, TX

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