Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to Monitor Kal (And NOT his Website)

Do you use Google Alerts? I do.

I'll try not to sound like a commercial for Google, but if their product is cool, why not share it, right?

Google Alerts watches Kal for me. I don't visit his site when I don't have to. Instead Google Alerts tells me the moron just posted something new.

  1. Some idiot (Kal, in this case) just posted a new blog entry.
  2. The idiot (Kal) uses keywords that I am interested in, e.g. "Kal Korff".
  3. Google alerts me that the idiot posted a new blog entry.
  4. (Optional) I visit his blog to read more.
So Google Alerts is like having a person watch everything written on the Internet, for whatever you're interested in comes up.

Here's how you can set it up, too.
Visit Google Alerts: http://www.gooogle.com/alerts

Enter in the search terms, i.e. keywords you want Google to monitor for you.
Be mindful you use quotes (easy task for Kal) if you use multiple words. Else, it will ring true even with one word alerted.
Choose "Comprehensive" as the all-of-the-above option.
Select if you want to know immediately or just a daily digest.

And, lastly, - enter your e-mail address where to send alerts.

Now, you'll get an e-mail asking you to verify. Not said, this also protects Google from someone getting pranked by friends, getting unintentional alerts on "the". Once you verify, you'll get alerted with every post. The above example is what I personally have used for a while now.

p. s. Obviously, you can set up many alerts, maybe for your favorite news item, or an author's name, or even your own name. Note: this doesn't tell you when someone is searching for your keywords -- only when someone writes an article/blog/etc with the keywords.


Anonymous said...

I've been doing this as well.

I do go to Fuck Nuts web site from time to time. Other than it loading super slow, it hasn't affected my system.

I'm hopeful that the others will come over here and kontinue...?


Brad Hudson said...

Keep on keepin' on, fellas!!!

Squonkamatic said...

Heck yes.

Anonymous said...

I think this is the way to go now. KIAI was degenerating into repetitive ranting on all sides.

Perhaps we can now aim for quality, not quantity ... reacting (generally speaking) to new developments, rather than re-hashing old material?

That said, I feel I must take this opportunity to re-iterate the following:

"Colonel" "KalIsrael" (dammit ... you even lie about your own name!) - you are utter scum. A dung beetle.

Thank you.

We.Are.Kult.Of.Kal said...

Wow- it's so cool to hear others are using Alerts, too, to monitor kernal douchebag.

Way to Go JimmyD! Kal is total scum.

Brad Hudson said...

Looks like KKIAI is dying a slow death. Pity. Does anyone have any contact with the site owner? I liked KoK's idea of doing some guest posting, especially as that site is #2 on Google when searching for Kal.

I'd be willing to throw an article together every now and then, and I would hope we could get a few more of us

Anonymous said...

So Kal's breaking news is he's going to Turkey and Russia with "friends and
professional colleagues"

Seriously, does the guy have any friends or colleagues apart from someone who doesn't speak English as their native language until they learn he is a chubby loser? There are old videos with Martina in them - and old videos with Avim in them also exist, no one but Kal for at least a year.

My brother lived in Prague as an expat for 6 years and he told me that by and large the Americans he met who were also expats were loons. Why are Czechs tolerant of Kal? Is it the language barrier? I just don't understand it. He's lived there for ten years and can't even conduct an exchange between himself and a barber. "Tell her to give me only 50". Which means Kal can't even say "give me only 50" in czech. Is that it, the language barrier?

There was a previous thread a few years ago, it was on cz expats, a chat board that got shut down (but you can still find it online) discussing Kal's column in Expres "Kal's Korner". A lot of the posters were basically upset about Kal's terrible grammar and inappropriate subjects like fart jokes and dick jokes or rambling diatribes about Iraq, a column that was read by their Czech high school students or college students. Apparently Kal made their jobs as English instructors far more challenging than it already was. I'm staggered at the notion of trying to explain Kal's utter bullshit to even an average American, let alone a non-native English speaker.

Compounding the madness, Kal presented himself as an English teacher to Czech Schools and companies like Sedlacek's poster business.

"This is Part 2 of the episode of Kal's Korner where Kal "gets buzzed" -- as in he receives a buzz cut. This segment is designed for non-native speakers of English and was filmed in Prague, in the Czech Republic. "

He continues to this day to live in Prague. Why? I just don't understand why the Czechs tolerate him. The guy needs to get the boot and face the multiple lawsuits in the United States sure to be filed if he ever enters our airspace again.

Anonymous said...

I mean it's flabbergasting, the guy has no job there, he even swindles MacZone, a czech company, blames Sedlacek and invoices the bill to him, there is video evidence on Youtube of him delivering the same Macbooks and Ipods to Czechs. He looks like an idiot whilst doing so. Then posts the "F-U Bartu" video. It goes on and on.

Then there was the whole thing about cooking an American dinner in your home. Seven unsuspecting Czech ladies host Kal and Avim (Avimi for short) as he arrives in the guy who played Bigfoot's Kalboy hat or "George Bush" hat with a dish of prepared barbequeue beef. Another ploy for legitacy, another idiot gesture.

Then we have Kal posing as a lawyer in his brother's Civil trial here in the US. How can this happen? I just can't fathom it.

Anonymous said...

I don't mind posting and ranting here about Colonel Crapper, but what happened to the KKIAI blog(ger)? That guy mentioned a couple times before that he was fed up with the psycho expat but I had no idea he threw the towel in the ring. Maybe he can give the password of the blog to others?

It's highly pleasurable to see the KKIAI blog ending high up on a google search on Korff. Lets keep it that way and also make this blog in the top 5. ;-)

Squonkamatic said...

Here's a little heads up for Kolon El Kalvin K. Korff who claims to be a ranking officer in the Israeli founded Super Duper Services:


In a nutshell, a former mental patient who has been claiming to be US Marine veteran of 3 tours in Iraq and also claimed to have been awarded a Purple Heart is now wanted for arrest under the Stolen Valor Act. Colorado has an interesting twist on the Stolen Valor Act in that they can prosecute someone for just CLAIMING publicly to have received such honors.

(Rick Glen Strandlof) is the first person to be charged in Colorado under the Stolen Valor Act. The act, passed in 2006, made it possible to prosecute military fakers who make only verbal claims about earning military medals. Prior to the act, phony veterans had to be caught wearing the medals to be prosecuted.


The Stolen Valor case against Strandlof was helped by the Internet. Portions of speeches he gave as Rick Duncan are posted on YouTube videos. In one, he claims he was wounded and lost four Marines under his command. He also claimed to have a metal plate in his head from that injury and to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder.

SO ... wacked out loner misfit nut impersonates a military officer, puts videos of his speeches on YouTube, claims brain injuries & metal plates in his head ... Sound like anyone familiar?

Now granted Kalvin K. Korff claims he is from a private civilian organization and while he has claimed in the past to have done things like, oh, infiltrating pre-invasion Iraq to work with the Kurds in identifying weapons of mass destruction, and deploying Nanobot components "in the operational field" in, what did he say, Pakistan?

And while he has implied in assorted YouTube videos to be a "Kidon Unit Commander -- leader of an assassinations squad, essentially -- he has yet to claim to have actually engaged in combat operations with the Super Duper Service SAPSTOE squads. Who presumably accompanied him into Iraq to meet the Kurds and wherever he went to loose the flock of Nanobot components into Pakistan. Even US Navy SEALs don't see that kind of action too often.

Also of Kalvin K. Korff related interest with this article is the notion that the guy was using this phony soldier put-on to RAISE MONEY, in this case political candidates that he endorsed. And founded his own organization to help promote veterans oriented causes, and indeed it was his own organization that skunked him out as a phony.

So, Kalvin, when was the last time you actually went to Israel? According to Rob McConnell Israeli authorities are concerned by Kalvin's implications that he is an officer of their state. Now we here that in Colorado -- which must be at least as significant of a place as Oregon -- phony soldier frauds are being prosecuted for just claiming public propz for things they didn't do.

I'd be very hesitant to push this Israeli intelligence angle any further, Mr. Kidon Unit Commander. If they're busting mental patients in Colorado for implying they've been wounded in combat, imagine what they might be doing to people who try to imply they are Mossad assassins in Tel Aviv.

Anonymous said...

Check out Kal's new pal from the Billy Meier cult.

Anonymous said...

Nice to see a ramp up of Korffing here on the blog.


We.Are.Kult.Of.Kal said...

Hell yeah!
Kal is running dry. The little fat man has even run out of cool videos to post, to try to draw people to his blog. I got an alert hinting he altered or reposted his buzz-cut video. I cannot believe he STILL believes people give a flying fuck about his old "I'll teach you English" schtick. He's unbelievable.

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