Special Agent Korff Strikes Again

FBI Coming Again huh Kal?
As Kal so often does, he threatens and threatens and threatens.

Now, Special Agent Kal Korff has sent me and my wrong-doings to the FBI.

Has anyone come to haunt me? Ah, no.
Has his Facebook page been yanked off? Ah, no.
Has Kal learned anything? Ah, no.

Nothing has happened, and I don't expect anything to happen.

UPDATE: A fellow Korffer (whose opinions I respect quite a bit) offered me his take on my naming the fellow I had words with on Facebook. In short, I've taken his name down. Also, I'm given some serious reconsideration to how I'm actively campaigning against KKK. (Even more to the point, to who's level am i stooping?)

Kal's (Helplessly Ignorant) Victim #2314
Oh, and by the way, I have to call this guy out. All I can say is, what a douchebag!
He befriended me (Kal) on Facebook and is obviously a HUGE cum-stained fan of KKK. His private messages to me were filled with questions I wouldn't dare repeat or answer.

But, once I posted the first Kult of Kal video on Facebook, Mr. Helplessly Ignorant Victim (HIV for short) #2314 went apeshit.

Here are a few of Mr. HIV's private and public comments to me: (pardon his great spelling)

• "OK SO YOUR NOT KAL!!!! You are just pretending to be thats reel cool!! I don't know who you are and I dont know Kal but I do like his work. I see you are trying to make kal out to be like this bad person but from an outsiders point it looks sort of petty and in the end YOU whoever you are the problem not Kal"
• "O by the way don't try fucking with me pretending your Kal OK!!!!"
• "THIS IS NOT KAL KORFF. dude I don't worship nobody."
• "this guy is going to take down all my posts so people cant reed them he's not Kal"

Okay, that last one was absolutely true. I deleted each of his comments and then politely popped the little weasel off my friends list.

Done Listening - Now I'm Speaking

On Kal's Facebook page, I'm done just "listening" -- that's what I call my info gathering phase (sounds sort of YS3-ish, right?).

Now, I'm beginning to post stuff. I just posted a picture of Kal's brother, Kurtis, on Facebook.

Check it out:




What do you think of my comment? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Michael Horn Speaks!

Wow, what a great letter from Michael Horn: click here to go to it.

My favorite part is the link to this info.

You all know Michael Horn as the guy with whom Kal Korff alleges to have partnered with to produce some double-set of DVDs. Michael clearly sets the record straight -- no, no, no.

It's hilarious to read. I only wish I could see Kal's face when he reads it. I'm sure we'll hear plenty of retort from the King of Shite soon enough.

Anyone want to take any bets on how Kal reacts? I predict 3 options:

1. Kal screams to his public "Michael Horn is a liar!!"
2. Kal replies with "Production may be delayed, due to some covert operations in Korffistan."
3. Kal quietly replies to Michael Horn with "You're a LIAR!!"

Enjoy - keep korffing. Kal Korff is an insane lunatic. "...and you can quote me on that."

Facebook Fun

I told you all that yesterday how I finally accepted all of the Facebook friend requests, right?

Well, it seems all 8 of them believe 100% that I am indeed Kal Korff. That's funny.

But I just revealed myself (kult of kal) to 1 Facebook friend, and the poor slob still believes I'm Kal, even after revealing myself. I guess Facebook can seem trustworthy to some people.

So, I figure if I post our conversation on the blog, he'll get it. Click to expand

Kal Korff - Chubby Li'l Facebook Loser

Taking the hint from FN, I changed the blog's header image.
Priceless. Just fucking priceless.

In other news, you all know I created a Facebook page with this gmail account right?

Well, it seems no less than 8 people have found my Facebook page and wanted to be my "friend." But these people genuinely believe I am Kal Korff. As Kal would say: "Can you believe that, folks?"

Yeah, no less than eight people believe I am actually Kal. One guy sent a friend request, asking if I'd be interested in some work. I would give away more, but just in case Kal monitors this stuff, I won't. I don't want him chasing after his job that's rightfully mine, right? (Or do I have that backwards? Whatever.)

For a long time I only watched as more people sent friend requests. I just accepted all 8 requests this morning. Should be interesting to see where this goes.
I'm posting a screenshot of my Facebook page, but I should edit out who 'befriended' Kal.

Google Wave Invites Released

Last Friday, I offered 8 Google Wave invites to anyone who sent in a picture or video poking some fun at our favorite Kernal Korff. It's Wednesday today, with 2 days left. Results so far: 1 picture.

I hate to sound disillusioned, but it seems our KIAI / KoK community is dead (or extremely sleepy). Or, at least extremely one-sided. What's your take on it?


Not being someone to back away from my word, I went ahead and sent off 5 of my 8 available invites. So, I picked the most active commenters from both blogs.
I did it this way because, with only two days left in this half-assed contest, I've had 1 submission. Yeah, if you ask me, I do think that's sad. (To think I had expected only 4 or 5....damn, even my pessimism wasn't pessimistic enough.)


I sent off invites to the following 5 names (& whose e-mails I have:) Squonkamatic, Jimmy, Brad, Digger and the dude who sent in this Bozo picture:



I would send one to "Anonymous," but I don't have his e-mail....hehe.

Anyway, later, -kult.

p.s. To the dude who sent in the Bozo picture, please know I had to clean coffee off my keyboard.

p.p.s. Anyone who spotted the obscure movie reference in my "dead, or extremely sleepy" quip - a big "AttaBoy" to you! :)

p.p.p.s. Yes, if by Friday I get a 2nd picture or video, of course, I'll be happy to get rid of the remaining 3 invites. And, of course, I highly fucking doubt anyone will send anything, let alone do I believe anyone is actually reading this post. Time to get more coffee.

Google Wave - Making Kal Seasick

Slightly off-topic here...have you ever heard of Google Wave?

If you haven't, I won't scream you must be living under a rock. But, it is a cool innovation by that techno behemoth Google. Imagine a cross between e-mail, instant messaging, and some team collaboration software -- and that's Google Wave. If you're still unsure, well... Google it.

The real meat of the story is, I'm using Google Wave and I was given 8 invitations, or Google Wave invites to pass on to others. Since Kult of Kal is my separate identity from my real life, I won't be spreading these invites to my real life friends (yes, Kal, I have real friends unlike yourself). So, I'm saving all 8 invites to my "Kult of Kal life" friends.

I could say the first 8 requests I get, I'll hand them an invite, but that's no fun.

So, here's the deal:
1. Make a picture or video that's clearly anti-Kal
2. Send your picture or video to me at kultofkal@gmail.com
3. Do this by next Friday, 4 December 2009.
4. I'll post all on the blog (cited anonymously) -- and you all judge the best.


You know what will happen, right? They'll be 4 or 5 people (max) who submit anything ... and that's cool with me. I'm just looking for some input for this blog. ;)

------ Submission updates------

Pictures: 1 Videos: 0

-kult

Flow Chart #3

Kal's brain, we all know, is warped, deluded and malnourished. And above all, it's predictable.

A while ago, I proposed a flowchart of how Kal's brain thinks when he's bored. Seeing how the chubby little loser has no job, no friends and no substantial life to speak of, I'd guess the flowchart represents pretty much all of Kal's time.

Back then, I left out one part, his "blog flowchart".

So, yeah, from the beginning:

Kal's brain, "Charting the Unchartered"

Kal's "Video making decision flowchart"

And finally, I finally got around to doing his "blog flowchart" this weekend. Here it is:

WTF Kal? Martina got your tongue?

Just like Judge Smails said in Caddyshack...

"Well, ...we're waiting!"

Take your time, Kal. Meanwhile, we'll just stand around looking pretty.

Ain't That the Truth?

No commentary. I'll just post this screen capture: