Developing...

On Kernel Korff's blog, I counted 13 times (yes, that's thirteen) that Kal finalizes his post with the word "Developing..."

And not once, does it finally develop.

See a pattern here?

(click to expand graphic to read dates)

"Banal and Facile, a Fat Waste of Space"

On the KIAI blog, esteemed Korffer "Brit_in_Prague" posted this video.



What does it have to do with Kal? If you're asking, you haven't watched it yet.
Ricky Gervis' character is Kal (at least for this episode anyway).

The lyrics are priceless. Okay, I'll admit, I looked up the definitions for both "banal" and "facile" in the dictionary. But that only makes me laugh louder now when I watch it.

Just in the remote chance you want to double-check your understanding, here you are:
banal: boringly commonplace and predictable
facile: lacking depth; taking little effort; lazy


I have to seriously wonder if Brit_in_Prague isn't on the production staff of Extras, the song just suits Kal that well. Nice find, Brit -thanks!

Kal's Attempts to Smear; Only Smears Self

Usually I write or create things to make fun of Kal. But this time, Kal did my job for me.
It's pretty bad when Kal tries to make someone look like an ass, but only makes himself the ass.

In this case, Kal made a mockumentary video of esteemed korffer Paul Kimball.
And here it is...



Nice work, Kal. Thanks again for being yourself.

Kal's Claims Revisited

Time has come to collect and provide an up-to-date list of Kal's claims.

The majority of these are patently false. Others - greatly exaggerated versions of the truth. Wherever there was a ounce of truth, it has since been made moot by Kal himself.

In red italics, I provide you that truth.

• Solved John F. Kennedy's assassination (Grossly opininated retelling of others' work)
• Signed a 500 book deal (Still undisclosed publisher, unknown timeframe -false)
• Developed A-bomb design at grade school science fair, prompting clandestine govt visit (Grossly exaggerated, no proof of visit)
• Invented hypertext (a.k.a. clickable Internet links ) while "an engineer at Apple" (No formal schooling in engineering; Kal as temp contractor to Apple was aware of similar project -false)
• Worked on anti-missile Star Wars project while working for Law. Livermore Nat'l Labs (contractor for LLNL as low-level desktop support - false)
• Converted to Judiaism (No blood link. By simple declaration. No observation of Torah or principles -false)
• Recruited to "Special Secret Services," a military like covert organization (self-created 1-man "org")
• Once a Captain, now promoted to Colonel in above Special Secret Services (It's his imaginative organization, so...)
• "Official" complaint against Royce Meyers filed (Meyers confirmed no such complaint received -false)
• $25,000,000 budget ($25 million) funded by Saudi Arabia (other "fund-raising activities" suggests No - false)
• KPMG audit against Kevin Randle (Randle confirms no audit -false)
• BBC interview about missile defense (No interview recorded, broadcast or archived -false)
• Debate on X-Zone against Kevin Randle (called off by KK; still postponed)
• Numerous lawsuits filed, criminal charges pressed (none with recent exception re: felonious brother)
• 10,000 English phrases (stopped effort at 15 phrases)
• TV deal (nope unless you count YouTube -false)
• Newly syndicated column (a text table column on own website -false)
• "Body Human Project" (not even started -false)
• Possesses WMD proof which embarrasses the CIA and inspection chief Scott Ritter (Ask Scott Ritter. Else... - false)
• OJ Simpson testimony (even Kal has since backpedaled on this one -false)
• Reality TV show (see above YouTube comment -false)
• Lectures to Israelis (no - false)
• Interviews with the media (exaggeration made on countless occasions)
• Chief Tech Officer position with Agentura Pro Vas (APV confirmed no such position offered -false)
• Exclusive deal with MacZone (and as a result, Kal wanted for theft)
• Possesses "nanobots", serially numbered for counter-surveillance use" (come on.... -false)

There you have it - Kal's claims. And a well-established pattern of bullshit tripe.

Google - ranking Kal as an Idiot

When you search Kal Korff on Google, the website of websites "Kal Korff Is An IDIOT" is on page one.
And not just on the 1st page of thousands of hits. But KIAI ranks as hit #2!!

Try It yourself.

Google's exact algorithm for ranking pages is a closely-guarded secret, because there's big money to be made by manipulating it.
Still, a website's popularity is generally understood to be:

• how many other sites link to it
• how often the searched words are used in texts and links
• how true the text is

Okay, I made up the last one, but in this case, I'm given it fair consideration. Kal really is an idiot.

The website "Kal Korff Is An IDIOT," at only 1 year old, has become the definitive source, the go-to place for news and commentary about Kal Korff.

Want to know what Kal's up to (or what he thinks he's up to)? - KIAI is your source.

Want to know what others have dug up about Kal? KIAI is your source.

There are many people in the world lucky enough to not know about Kal already. But if someone becomes curious, they will likely use Google. If they do, here's what they'll get:

Google Tells You Kal Korff is an Idiot
Ever use iGoogle? With iGoogle, when searching, Google will guess (based on popularity of searches) what you might be searching for. In Kal's case, Google will tell you Kal's an idiot just when you type in his name (in iGoogle).

See, when you search, words are automatically filled in for you:

My Soon-To-Be Hero: Paul Kimball

We are now only days (dare I say, hours?) away from Paul Kimball's film "Worlds Away" to be released to the public.

"Worlds Away" is a documentary about our loner hero Kal Korff. A colleague of Paul's, John Ritchie had the honour to preview it at an advance screening. John has these words to say about it: "It's quite similar to Errol Morris' classic documentary Mr. Death, in that in paints a portrait of a man - Kal Korff - who was once a 'someone' but who got lost in his own madness along the way, and now exists in a sad world of lies and delusions, a world mostly of his own making. "

What really piques my interest about the film is that Paul managed to film Kal here in Prague, without our own special secret services agent knowing about it.

Paul went so far as to win over one of Kal's own "insiders", getting first hand accounts and footage of Kal.

Hours.....I am besides myself with anticipation ("I f*cking can't wait!")

"Videos need cleaning" - Google

If anyone happened to notice, the "Kult of Kal" video is no longer available, as of earlier today.

Google is disabling videos which use copyrighted music or images. And I just got an e-mail warning me that the "Kult of Kal" video is now blocked since it is "lacking the necessary copyright authorization."

Fair enough. If I remember right, the video plays a bit of the Superman theme (when Kal stands up to proudly show off his new t-shirt, depicting how his brother was really shot).

No worries. At some point, hopefully soon, I will remaster the video (minus the Superman tune) and repost it. And now that I'm thinking of it, I had better do the same cleaning up of the 2nd video which plays some of Jethro Tull's Aqualung.

Kal - you've got a reprieve for a few days. Enjoy.

Kal Did Work At LLNL

All,

I believe Kal now. I've heard from one of Kal's former colleagues at LLNL.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, this person worked with or above Kal at LLNL (Lawrence Livermore Natl Laboratory) and verified Kal's employment, including some decent details.

My source verified about 2 facts:

1. Kal did indeed work at LLNL, for a period between 2-4 years.
2. Kal's work was not related to the Star Wars program, not even remotely. Instead, Kal's work was remedial system support, namely on a subset of LLNL's Macintosh computers.

Even more detailed, Kal was not a full-time LLNL employee, but rather via a contractor, through Kirk Mayer Inc (KMI). The rent-a-tech department he worked in was called Small Systems Support (SSS), later called the Distributed Computer Support Program (DCSP).

Also, I understand from this source (sounds like someone who was in a superior position to Kal) that Kal's performance was subpar, all the while he was a boastful (direct quote: "he did not contribute to anything but his ego")

Another quote from the source: "He certainly did not support anything related to the science that goes on there." So, for Kal to say he was involved with Star Wars is the same as any person crossing the street was involved with a car accident a mile away. Kal was in the same city, but not the same team.

Again, although he was bad at it, here's one more source saying Kal did legitimately work at LLNL. More importantly in the quest of truth, all of Kal's innuendos that he had any contribution to the Star Wars program are completely empty. Kal's work at LLNL was simply Macintosh computer support.

Personal Thank You to Kal
I have a personal "Thank You" for you, Kal. When I first read about you and your "involvement" with Hypercard, I got interested in learning about Hypercard myself.
I couldn't believe how easy Hypercard is! I made a couple programs myself after only a few minutes. And then I got a good idea ...since I'm kind of a Star Trek fan, I made one program to catalog a bunch of Star Trek TNG related data. I named it "Commander Data" and I ended up selling it online for ..., well, let's say more money than you'll ever see. Even Milos Bartu appreciates it (I gave it to him for free).

Yeah, so thanks Kal!

Kult of Kal 3 video

The 3rd Kult of Kal video is finished, uploaded and ready to smile at.

The main message is clear: there are two sides to Kal. First, how Kal sees himself in the world and second, ...reality. This video takes 6 minutes to briefly illustrate both sides.





There are 3 "Kult of Kal" videos now. Here are the first two:

Kult of Kal 1 & Kult of Kal 2

Anonymous Letter to Kal -From All of Us

From the Kal Is An Idiot blog, a recent entry reports how Kal supposedly appeals for sympathy for a terminally ill cancer patient, -but in the end he uses her only to appeal his cause against his foes. Very low indeed.

I found this one comment particularly cutting, but honest:

Kal, you should be utterly ashamed of yourself for this latest example of how low you'll stoop.

The underbelly isn't low enough for you, as you sink so low as to take out your personal anger and rage against Paul Kimball, Kevin Randle and Royce Meyers at the expense of a poor girl who has cancer. Shame on you. Shame.

Your obsession with some UFO personalities is frightening and you have clearly lost touch with the real world.

It is abundantly clear Kal that your vendetta, your petty and pathetic need to get even with and attempt to marginalize a particular group bleeds through in everything you do. It is, in my opinion, obvious this is a sickness you have.

And as usual Kal, your gross ignorance and knee jerk assumptions make you look all the more foolish regarding how the medical system in the UK actually works. I thought you were a "global citizen" Kal, a man of the world who was well traveled and educated about the various societies on this planet. Clearly you are anything but.

Kal writes, "While it is always WRONG to "judge" people (unless you ARE "God"), once people lower themselves to this uncivilized standard, of course they typically have nothing to say, often invent things or outright LIE about that person, and this is when they are not busy making a point to tell everyone they know or all their friends, not only made up stuff, but report only the worst of news."

No shit, Kal. This must be an excerpt straight out of your own book of standard conduct. You do the exact same thing, Kal. By Kal's own words he must think he is God. Kal doesn't have anything to say because for years now he has been repeating the same material over and over again.

Kal, if you're so intelligent, then you should try taking an objective inventory of the things you said and compare them to the way you operate.

You pass judgment on people, produce false claims about them and then twist around any little bit tabloid style to make the person look bad and then you "report" it to the world. Well, you report it to the handful of people who laugh at you and your website.

As far as this woman Jade goes, Kal, people identify with her plight and while you might not know this, supporting a person who might be dying is a human trait called mercy, forgiveness, understanding, sympathy, compassion or how ever else you want to describe it. These are things you clearly have very little understanding of and things you do not apply to your own hate filled life.

It takes a truly twisted sort of person to take every opportunity possible to try to make someone look bad. It takes a tasteless asshole who has no boundaries to insert his hate and jealous fueled dispute to insert that very hatred and try to somehow connect a few people you rant on about into a story about a woman dying. This would be you I'm referring to, Kal.

From the big mouth of Kal, "FOR IT TAKES HATE and the feeling of HATRED TO ACCUSE SOMEONE OF THINGS WHICH ARE NOT TRUE!"

Again, a page out of your own book of standards you use against others on a regular basis at every opportunity you see. You prove you do this very same thing just by your words in this latest hate fueled rant on your website. You do the very same thing, you pathological hypocrite.

What sort of person ties in his personal vendetta to try and marginalize a few people into a story about a woman who likely will die from cancer? What sort of twisted, sick, delusional fuckhead does such a thing? It takes a real piece of shit to do something so low, doesn't it Kal?

Kal, you often talk about hate and finding the source of the problem and how things will never change until we address root causes.

News flash for Kal! Kal, you are part of the problem here. Duh! You are the root cause of some of this hate because of your inability to deal with certain truths and your overblown sense of how things ought to be.

You allow your hate filled need to dispense "justice" on those who have told many truths about you, truths that you know are truths but you can't stand to have been exposed after having supposedly "exposed" so many others. Kal is ok with everyone else facing the music, but when it comes his turn he always has an excuse or blames someone else.

Just look at some of the ridiculous bullshit you've done to people. You tried to accuse people of having ties to terrorism who clearly do not. You allege to have filed complaints against people at their place of work when their employment clearly has nothing to do with anything. You threaten to sue and have people arrested. You threated to expose people before the "worldwide media." You threat people with nonexistent audits. you question people's patriotism to a country you frequently bash. You falsely accuse people of hate crimes and being racist.

More words of wisdom from Kal, "It is NEVER RIGHT to "judge" and condemn people just because you disagree with them."

Kal, you've already passed judgment on so many by calling them frauds and liars.

And Kal rails on, "HATRED AND INTOLERANCE ARE A CHOICE, THEY ARE NEVER AN OPTION."

Kal, you need to look into that proverbial mirror you write about and take a good, long, hard look at yourself. The words utter and hypocrite come to mind.

Let's face it, Kal, you are a large part of the problem. Kal, you're a spite filled little man taking his own anger and frustrations out on people and things you perceive have somehow done you some wrong.

Time to face reality, Kal. No one created these problems for you, you created them all on your own by not addressing your own root causes. You've turned out to be a colossal failure in life because you want to blame everyone and everything else for your problems and how the world is.

Do I say this out of spite? No, I do not. I say it out of compassion for you, Kal. I truly do. You need some serious help and I hope that you get it and are able to become a functioning part of normal society again instead of this rambling, hate filled alter ego you have created out of your own desperate need to have something, to have anything to shield you from the ugliness of your self loathing hatred that you wrongly foist upon those who you believe are the cause of your problems.

Kal, you don't just hate, you are hate.